On Tuesday, September 1st, I will be celebrating my first anniversary with my husband. I never imagined I would find such a love, best friend and life partner two years ago, better yet, I should say he found me! But I did. I found this beautiful cello duet to celebrate the life we share together. I thank God I made the right choices and Todd will be with me from now on. I am so grateful!
Life is a journey. We make our choices and I am so happy I chose well. Our life together is just beginning….against all odds. Please love the one you’re with and celebrate love today! It’s truly all there is!
I am learning so much from Carol as I follow my own path to better health and fitness. Today we are featuring Part Two of her journey! We’re all in this together and Carol makes it easier!
My big leap into the fitness world began.I signed up at my local gym not knowing anything about strength training and only the usual girlie things about cardio–treadmill, elliptical, jazzercise and step aerobics. I ran straight to the group fitness room and planted myself in the very back. Several of the classes I took were in the dark with only rope lighting. Less intimidating and a great way to hide. I didn’t know what a plank was. I couldn’t do one push up on my toes and I faked many moves only doing them half way. But I liked it. A place to go at 5:00. The music. That people started to recognize me. We all need a place to belong. Next big step. TIme to look at my food. I used to call it a diet. Me and diets were quite familiar. Like most bad relationships. I kept coming back for more even though it obviously wasn’t working for long. I dived deep into nutrition. Diet is to lose weight (really, we want to lose fat), but nutrition is a much bigger and far more important goal worthy of our focus. Baby steps. Time to look at my 30 year addiction to diet sodas. Obviously, with gaining 50 pounds the diet part of the soda equation wasn’t working. I drank four to six a day. Called it my mom juice. I depended on the fizz, the caffeine, the buzz. I’d tried to quit before. And before. And before that. This time I studied addiction recovery practices. I studied nutrition from all angles. What was I missing? Why was my will power so weak? I came up with my own two step approach. The first was to find a substitute. Coffee. My other vice. It has nutritional value and I was tested for caffeine tolerance, which was good. I gave myself permission to have coffee/go to Starbucks anytime I wanted a diet coke. Even six times a day. The first week, I hit the coffee shop everyday. Sometimes twice a day for that afternoon iced coffee. By the second week I needed less, but still gave myself full permission to enjoy this other vice. I only used steevia in my coffee so I wasn’t adding a ton of calories, but that didn’t matter. Calories wasn’t the focus. Only eating/drinking things with nutritional value was. My other strategy was to change my narrative around diet sodas. I came up with this: Diet sodas have zero nutritional value. They are as harmful to me as Drano. Drano might taste good–I don’t know–but it wouldn’t be good for me. Diet soda is Drano. I don’t drink Drano. I said this to myself outloud day after day those first few weeks or months. It became such a mantra, such a habit that I can’t even say the word, “diet” without launching into my mantra. It’s been nine years. I’ve had a couple of sips of diet sodas and they do nothing for me. Nothing. I tastes so strong and strange I want to spew it out. Next came hydrogenated oils. After educating myself on the dangers of hydrogenated oils, why they were invented, what they do to our cells, our heart, how they’re in all processed foods (don’t get me started!) I knew I had to take a serious look at my pantry. We can talk about nutrition later. I want to leapfrog over nutrition and talk about that later. What I want to share in this post is how I began to FEEL. I stopped holding my body hostage–you can buy a new dress after you lose ten more pounds–if you don’t lose weight you’re going to stop going to the gym–you’re too old to focus so much on how you look–what my friends were saying about how much time I spent working out–that cholesterol meds are inevitable, just take them….
I stopped the negative self talk: I hate my thighs. Thank you for your strength to walk, to squat, to dance. I hate my stomach. Thank you for babies. And yes, I’ll wear that two piece. I hate my arms. Thank you that I can cook and paint, Lift and carry. Hug and hold.
I refused to be that awful ugly friend who talks bad about someone she professes loyal to. I refused to let cruel words come out of my mouth. At first the affirmations felt fake. Then they didn’t. They felt authentic. I was finally becoming the best friend I always dreamed of–kind, funny, loyal, honest but not harsh, tough but encouraging. I found my confidence. I wanted to dance. To be playful. To say yes to get togethers. I wanted to take long walks just for the enjoyment of it. I wanted to try new things. Try on clothes in a store. And yes, I wanted to leave the lights on in the bedroom! I didn’t care what the scale number read–but how I felt in my own skin. Mine isn’t a fast journey. It took me about six years to get my head on straight. To change my fridge, my pantry, my closet, where I ate, how I dressed, how I talked to myself… Time for the next big step. I decided I wanted to be a wellness coach when I grew up. Again.
A friend who has followed my blog for years, even contributed posts in the past said she hoped I would continue my Sunday morning music posts. Well Nancy, here you go! I’m having to relearn Word Press since so much has changed since I was blogging regularly. I’m hoping I can do this right!
I love the music of Elgar and this is one of my favorite pieces. Performed by Jacqueline du Pre & her husband, conductor Daniel Barenboim in the 1960’s. I also love the movie, “Hillary and Jackie” about Ms. du Pre, her sister and the beautiful music they shared. I hope you’ll enjoy this and look forward to many more!
I believe in reincarnation, just all in one lifetime. Over the decades I have become and then undone again and again. So I should have seen it coming. The day when I would outgrow my old skin. At 40 I decided I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I learned, I wrote, I read, I attended conferences and workshops and even went back to college. Little by little I found my voice and published many essays, short stories, articles, blogs and website content. My book, Mothering Mother, A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir took me to the studios of CNN, NBC, The National Parkinson’s Foundation , care facilities, bookstores, book clubs, colleges took me around the country. It’s not book sales that made me most proud but the lives that my words touched. That I could share my story and that others could feel not so alone. But it was full circle time and my heart was yearning for something different. I saw in myself as a caregiver and in so many others far more than burnout. I experienced and witnessed a bankruptcy of spirit, soul, physical and mental and emotional health, as well as a devastating toll on many people’s finances and careers and sadly, relationships who were in the midst or coming out of caregiving. That’s when I realized the toll of giving ourselves to others and many times giving too much of ourselves to others. I wanted to back it up 30 years. For myself and for every adult daughter, spouse, family member and friend, nurse and doctor, I wanted to scream from every podium, “We’ve got to take care of ourselves people! And it’s got to start now! And it’s got to start with our attitudes of how we see ourselves and it’s got to start with our health and our wellness today! Not 30 years from now. But today. How we care for ourselves today is a direct correlation to how we will live 30 years from now! So wake up and get up and start living, moving, eating, thinking and speaking and being with intention!” I turned 50 and and I swear I heard a gong somewhere. Somewhere deep. The old sick and tired is how I felt about every aspect of my life..Sick when I looked at photographs of myself. Tired of looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself. Sick when the doctor told me I was 50 lbs overweight for my height and was considered obese. Tired of not recognizing the girl in the mirror. And heartbroken. What happened to me????
My insides didn’t match my outside. I hid behind baggy clothing. I shopped in stores where I didn’t even like the clothing. Where was the confident playful sassy badass bougie gal I thought I’d get be?When does she get to come out and play? I knew that if I kept going 50 would go to 60 would go to 75 lb and that at some point I would break through that inevitable pharmaceutical wall and join the millions of Americans who have type 2 diabetes, need to take high blood pressure, high cholesterol meds, sleep meds depression meds anxiety meds…the meds the meds the meds! I don’t know what came over me except to call it a compulsion.Or in my case, a reincarnation. I found myself tugging on a gym door. In all my years I had never set foot in a gym. I had done my fair share of Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, walked around more blocks than I could ever count, did some step classes back in the day, threw in a few jazzercise classes for fun but it was on the typical six or eight week diet cycle where I lost a few pounds only to gain them right back. But that day I stood at that desk it’s different. I didn’t know why I was ready but I was ready. Scared shitless–is it really possible to undo a lifetime of buying into an American diet and way of life? Is it really possible to make true and lasting change? Was I going to just let myself down yet another time? Scared shitless, I knew it was time. Time to open that damn door and take that first step.
Carol O’Dell Today….WOW!
Many thanks to you, Carol! You inspire us all! I am on my own journey to transform my life and will keep readers up to date on my progress. We’re all looking forward to your second post next week in this three part series!
On Friday I’ll be sharing a post by my dear friend, Carol O’Dell. I met Carol years back when I was working as a literary agent with Sullivan Maxx Literary Agency. From the moment we met I felt a kindred spirit in Carol. Author of the bestselling book, “Mothering Mother”, she has experienced life as a parental caregiver, a role that changes one’s life forever. Following the loss of her mother she began an amazing journey, reinventing herself…body, mind and spirit!
Her story is one that I know will inspire you during these uncertain times. She proved that one can take control of their lives and live their dreams. Carol never ceases to amaze me with her joie de vivre and her incredible insight into life! Friday’s post will be the first of three as Carol joins our team as a contributing blogger.
We are working to make this blog site as interactive as possible with podcasts beginning shortly. Please leave comments and let us know how The Permanent Tourist is helping you to become your best self ever!
I am sharing this amazing photograph taken by my dear friend, Tony Drake, with you as I write this post. It’s the first post I’ve managed to put together in well over a year. Thankfully, I have kept my “The Permanent Tourist” domain and all other components to keeping my blog up and going. I love this photograph. It speaks to the beauty of life and of Mother Earth.
It’s time to recreate what The Permanent Tourist is. For years I posted from St. Simons Island, Georgia and basically focused on that area. I featured on my blog as well as radio show interesting people, local events, history of the area and…OF COURSE…food!
Many of you know my story and what brought me to life in Louisiana. I have grown to love it here but writing The Permanent Tourist in the same old way just never felt right. During the lock down we have experienced I found myself wanting to write again but wanting to do that differently, to refresh things and approach my blog from a new direction. Maybe the COVID 19 virus brought me the time to stop and take a look at what I really wanted to do now to spark the creative energy of this award winning blog!
And the idea came to me in a flash when I asked for direction during my morning meditation. I have learned that asking is the key to finding one’s way. I am so excited about what “we”, yes WE, are going to be writing and sharing with our global readership! I have, so far, three contributing writers who are going to be posting about everything from connecting with life in a more meaningful way, health, fitness, lifestyle, events, personal finances and of course FOOD!
So stay tuned as we share just how to enjoy your life to the fullest! Podcasts are in the works as well as a long awaited YouTube channel. I’m getting back to what I’m passionate about and the team I am putting together is not only dynamic, professional and experienced in their fields but FUN! It’s time to have fun, to help create a new normal that will enrich our lives and open new avenues of creating and loving life!
