The thing I miss most about living on the upper East Coast is the fall season. It just doesn’t happen in South Louisiana the way it does there. I remember crisp morning air, soups simmering on the stove and long walks that filled me with energy. Definitely my favorite season of all. So I have chosen “Autumn” from the Four Seasons by Vivaldi for today! Sit back, sip your coffee and enjoy! It’s a wonderful day no matter where you are.
Carol O’Dell is sharing her way of eating and enjoying life in this wonderful post! To good health and joy! Slante!
I wake to the sun, stretch and welcome the day. My first thought is probably coffee. Yup, it’s coffee. I head to the kitchen and heat some lemon and water and sip as I go. Sometimes I add honey/royal jelly if I feel I need a tad. I grind some organic coffee beans and get out some unpasteurized heavy cream. I crave the fat and know it’s good for my brain. Add a splash of Sweet Leaf english toffee stevia and sit on my back porch taking in the green of the day. Two hours or so later I think about eating. When I’m hungry. When I’m ready. Some call it intermittent fasting. I call it intuitive eating.
I’m often asked what my daily food intake looks like. I call it nutrition. I don’t diet. Diet is a vicious cycle that sets you up for your next gain. Nutrition is eating for the day’s needs/requirements. Let me share my ground rules. I’ll go into the whys later.I’ve ridden my kitchen of products that contain hydrogenated oils. In my opinion, this is the most dangerous substance (perhaps other than Meth) that can enter our body. That eliminates most processed foods. I avoid gluten (not 100%) but close. I ONLY have sweets as an occasional treat–and it’s got to be decadent and worth it. A few bites and I’m more than satisfied. I choose sparkling waters. No sodas. I enjoy an occasional well crafted cocktail—not gonna lie–but a shot of tequila is my go-to vice. Those 60 calories are worth it. One does the trick. Again, a good quality followed by a club soda chaser.
Enough of the don’ts…I EAT gorgeous, REAL food. Organic as much as I can. Lots of veggies. Quality cheeses, olives, pickles, kimchi–anything fermented, I eat lots of fish, seafood, organ meats, a little red meat, antibiotic, hormone free lunch meat, bacon and sausage–but all the meats are small portions–the majority of my plate is colorful. I enjoy fruit in smoothies, for a midday snack, in my salads–but I’ve learned not to gorge myself on carbs since they spike appetite. I eat lots of fresh herbs. And I pile on the spices–high quality bursting flavors. Quality oils such as butter, ghee, almond and avocado oil, olive oil for salads. Carbs–I enjoy sweet potato cubes with great spices (someties Indian tumeric and curry, other times cinnamon and a Mexican spices. I also like quinoa, a small red potato, brown rice–but all are 1/2 cup portions. Dairy–high quality only–Skyr Icelandic yogurt, good cheeses, unpasteurized products when I can get them and cottage cheese. I limit myself to 1-2 a day and not every day.
I eat breakfast about 10ish when I’m ready to eat. I eat again when I’m hungry. Sometimes noon, sometimes 2–and that’ my big meal. I’m starving by then and ready to chow down.
As I finish my day, about 7, I go light. A bit of yogurt. Some cheese and nuts and olives. I listen to my body. It depends on the day. On my work load. I just know that because I’ve eaten like a queen I don’t need to keep going. I don’t need to stuff myself. I make sure every meal contains a healthy fat–fat turns off the brain and belly and tells me full and happy.
Hot tea–chamomile finishes my evening at 7 or 8 and I’m done. Satisfied. .I cook–a lot. I love the connection I have with food. I shop local often. The butcher, elderberry syrup maker, farmer, cheese and olive vendors at my local farmers market know me by name. \I call it the 7 step connection. 1. Plan my week. 2. Purchase my items–as much seasonally and locally as I can. 3. Store my food properly and do a bit of food prep so i can eat well–grab and go as I need o. 4. Prepare my food–with music, lighting, a splash of wine on occasion 5. We sit and eat. Share and talk. Enjoy. 7.6. I store my leftovers (I never make one meal–always multi-meal)7. Hubby cleans the kitchen so he gets thanks and kisses:)
In practical terms: ***I always tweak my food according to how much I will move that day. The more I move the more carbs I add–and one typically at night since carbs aid in muscle recovery and helps you sleepToday’s food: After lemon water and coffee—
10ish Cottage cheese, a few fresh blueberries and slivered almonds11;30-(-in the car on the way to a client’s house) -healthy turkey deli meat with mustard and a chopped cucumber1;30–Leftover grilled chicken breast ceasar salad–with grilled romaine and topped with a quick blend of plain yogurt, lemon juice, a few capers for salt, anchovies (i love them) and fresh grated parmesan. Takes me two minutes to pulse this in the blender. Chicken was from the night before and I just cut a romaine head in half, spritzed it with oil and pan seared it for a couple of minutes. 4ish two gluten free crackers and a smear of almond butter 7ish–a cup of bone broth, a few slices of gouda cheese, green olives and raw almondsTea and goodnight!
YUM!
Beautiful, mellow music to start your day. Wishing you joy and laughter, whatever you do….wherever you go. Life is to be celebrated, you are love and you are loved. Injoy!
A month or so ago my first novel was published. I took nine years to get it just right and I’m still not sure I did. I am, as always, my strictest critic. “Moonflowers” is a work of literary fiction with a supernatural twist that will keep you turning the pages.
I learned that putting your heart and soul into a story is sort of like giving birth. I cannot tell you how many times this book was reworked, rewritten and put back together again. “Moonflowers” spans the lives of five generations of women. Their loves and losses, their fear and passion and a dark secret they each must deal with in their own way.
This is a story of strong women and even stronger family ties. Each woman has her own voice and speaks to time she lives in and the history taking place around her. It is not your average book, but what else would you expect from me! I have to laugh when I think of doing anything ordinary!
I am just getting started with marketing and placing the book where it will sell and, hopefully, become a favorite of readers who enjoy something a bit different. Marketing is a whole new challenge with COVID 19 keeping book shows and conferences from happening.
For now you can find it on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Moonflowers-Melissa-Lee/dp/1630412732/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Moonflowers+by+Melissa+Lee&qid=1599505978&s=books&sr=1-1
If you enjoy the story please leave a review on the page toward the bottom. That is what moves a book up on the charts! I would love to have a million copies out there! Anything is possible!
It’s been about nine years since I started my journey of mind-body awareness. In retrospect I see three distinct phases, each lasting about three years. It took me three whole years to change how I thought about food and movement, body image and to believe that change was truly possible.
After 25 years of roller coaster diet, no diet, exercise, no exercise, gaining more and more weight and growing more and more disheartened, living in less and less joy and confidence, it took some real heart-head work to evolve. Little by little, my plate changed to whole, colorful foods. I no longer craved fried foods, fast food, processed foods and artificial sweets made in a factory. Not overnight! Pizza, even crappy pizza can be a challenge! Change isn’t an arrow, it’s a loop de loop. It’s about regrouping, restarting, each time with less lag time. Each time, it got easier. The processed foods began to taste artificial, overwhelming, and….fake. My tummy ached if I overindulged and I longed for greens!
I admit, I grew to love exercising! Now, I know many of you think I’m somehow different than you. I promise, I had ZERO background in anything physical. No team sports, no dance lessons, not from an active family. My extracurricular activity was piano–for twelve years! Yet at 50, I longed to move. To learn how to use this body I’ve been given. I longed to meet a challenge. To sweat, and laugh, and grit my teeth, and go home sore and exhausted and anxious to do it all again. Who was this woman?
All I know is that you can change. Again and again. And if you let it, life will surprise you. You will surprise you!
The next three years I fell down the rabbit hole. I returned to school. This time, in nutrition, in personal and group training, in behavioral science of change, in active aging certification and finally, wellness coaching. I wanted to understand the circumference of living in a state of wellness. Not perfection. I wanted to learn how we change, why we change, what triggers change, and most importantly, how to LIVE in sustained wellness. I wanted to understand the interplay of sleep, stress, relationships, meaningful work, community, history, perceptions, physical and mental health concerns with all of our diseases, conditions and issues that must be woven into who we are.
That’s when I had to slow down. We are beautifully flawed and complicated. We can’t be “fixed.” We can’t clean it all up. We can’t get on track and stay on track. We will always be a tapestry with light and dark in our weft. Wellness is a big buzzword. Everybody’s got a different definition. This is what I know. For me. And maybe something in it may resonate for you.
Wellness is a walk. Every day is different. Balance is a gyro. In constant flux. We ebb and flow. We will no doubt, lose our way and find it again. Awareness is simply finding our way a little bit quicker. We feel those triggers, those tugs, and we find our way back to center just a little bit easier. Some of the time. Hopefully most of the time. And when we don’t, we smile. Giving ourselves gentleness and yet consistent care. Even a strong talking to every now and then.
Wellness is creating a community to surround yourself with–for you and for them. A give and take of wisdom, wit, knowledge, experience and yes, accountability. Wellness is living with and through awareness.
These last three years I am now living in this space. Most days, I create and enjoy wholesome food. I eat like a queen! Most days, I eat at home because I enjoy the 5 step process of planning, purchasing, prepping, cooking and enjoying. Most days, I move. I take long, long walks (I say I walk on the beach until the voices stop berating me–and that can take awhile). I also lift weights for strength, do yoga for agility, dance for endurance, garden to plunge into the earth and anything else that feels good body and soul. Most days, I sleep without aids and I wake often, but it doesn’t bother me. I like the quiet moments with myself in the dark. Most days, I rest when I need to. Mid-day ten minute nap is divine. Even to sit quiet. Most days, I don’t overwork, over stress, overthink. Some days, I do. But I catch myself, redirect, and at times, just let it take its course knowing it won’t last long. Most days, what others think of me matters less and less. Not their praise nor their criticism. It’s my job to love/validate/correct me. Even the tough love part. I have little tolerance for stress, drama, pain (although its a powerful teacher). But I do allow sorrow to weep, anger to wail, boredom to whine, and hurt to engulf. It’s part of being alive and I so enjoy being alive. All of it.
And some days I curse like a mofo, want to inflict bodily harm on many people some related some strangers, and drink tequila. Lots of tequila. Just keeping it real!
What’s next? I started this series stating that I believe in reincarnation–particularly in this lifetime. Reinvention is inevitable. What’s next? I don’t know. And I love not knowing.
It’s been a week of celebrating love and weeping over the loss of a friend from COVID 19. In some ways I have felt blessed to be healthy. But then there is the heartbreak of knowing this person died alone. There can be no normal outpouring of food, hugs….no traditional funeral. We have to find balance in all of this and tap into the inner peace we all possess knowing all will be well.
I found this beautiful piano piece by Frederic Francois Chopin, “Joie De Vivre”. It is poignant and reminds me that there is always something to be thankful for, even when tears flow. It also inspires me to make my dream of riding a horse again a reality, it needs to happen for many reasons and not just remain on a list of things I want to do. I hope you’ll enjoy listening to it as much as I have! Peace and Love to all….Always!
Many of my readers have been following this blog since it first began in 2012. You have been through my life changes with me and, even if we have never met face to face, we have become friends. As I refashion the format for The Permanent Tourist I am thinking of more ways to inspire readers to really live their lives.
As many of you know, I lost my husband in 2018. “Mr. T”, as he was fondly referred to in my posts, lost a five year battle with melanoma and congestive heart failure. I cared for him as best I could until the last breath he took. As I sat, holding his hand, in disbelief and total exhaustion, I watched his body as the life energy left. It didn’t seem real at the time. I felt a part of me go with him. This was supposed to have been my forever love and we only had nine years together. To say my heart was broken would be an understatement.
I suffered from a real symptom for months, “widow brain”. It happens to both men and women when they lose a beloved spouse. You feel like you’re in a fog. Thoughts are scrambled, energy is non-existent and nothing makes sense, or matters. I felt lost….and incredibly lonely. It was an emotional roller coaster that went on for months. I saw no hope and no end in sight.
My beloved husband confided in close friends shortly before he passed. He knew my role as caregiver replaced that of wife as his illness became terminal, he was acutely aware of the stress I was under. He expressed his concern about my well being and what would happen to me without him. He made it clear to them that he wanted me to live again and, amazingly, to find love again. When they told me of the conversation they had with him I just shook my head feeling no one could ever replace him…never.
A year passed and I began to want to meet people and get out in the world for the first time in months. A friend suggested that “on-line” was the new normal in the dating world. The very word “dating” made me cringe. I couldn’t even imagine trying to meet men and put myself out there again.
I looked into several “seniors” dating sites and explored the possibilities. It’s a scary world out there when you sign up for one of these services. I tried one and felt so vulnerable. It made me back off and drop the whole idea. Then I heard about a site that was rated highest of them all and decided I had nothing to lose.
I had coffee with several guys. I shared a bottle of wine with another at my favorite local restaurant and we ended up ordering dinner. But there was no spark. The magic just was not there. I began to wonder, after almost a dozen of these encounters, if magic was even possible in my life again.
On a rainy Sunday, a day before I planned to cancel my membership on the site, I received a lovely message from a gentleman who actually lived nearby me. I hesitantly replied and a conversation began. He asked if we could meet that afternoon and I came up with all sorts of excuses as to why that would not work. I had blocks of ice where my feet should have been. The conversation ended but it gnawed at me that he sounded like a really nice guy. And he fit my criteria of being widowed as well. Somehow it was important to me since I knew a man who had loved a woman and lost her would understand what I was going through. More than anything I was looking for a friend to have dinner with once in a while and to talk to.
I waited for about half an hour, still thinking of this guy. Something about the way he expressed himself and his sense of humor intrigued me. I sent a message to him saying, “Am I missing a golden opportunity?”. He replied after several minutes went by and proposed that I choose a place to meet for a drink later that afternoon. The rest is history.
I will never forget opening the door of the restaurant and, with great trepidation, taking that first step into the establishment. I looked around and saw no one who resembled the picture I had seen on-line. I walked all the way through to the back of the building looking….did HE get cold feet?
Turning around and heading back toward the door I heard a man say “Melissa?”. I turned in the direction of the voice and there stood a man, so handsome, waiting there by the table he had chosen. It seemed natural that when he held his arms out to me I found myself in a warm hug. It felt like we had known each other forever. He told me later that a light shone on me out of nowhere. It was gray and cloudy outside but I glowed as I turned to walk toward him.
We spent two hours together that afternoon talking about our lives, our losses, family, children, favorite things. There was never a lag in the conversation. I realized this was what I had been missing. We agreed we needed to plan another date and I left, driving home slowly, replaying the whole thing in my mind.
He texted me several times that evening telling me how much he enjoyed meeting me. He was the perfect gentleman. We both had second thoughts and fears over the next few days. Were we ready for a relationship? It all came so naturally when we were together. We were comfortable with each other and had so much to give to the right person.
As we began to spend more time together the feelings we had for each other began to deepen. We would talk for hours, sharing so much in common. I found him to be a man of faith and compassion. I felt myself coming alive again and it felt wonderful. I have always been one to put others first but this time I decided I was going into this relationship for myself. I didn’t care what everyone had to say and believe me, there was plenty.
I realized how much I missed having a man, a true gentleman, really love and care for me. And I loved giving to him. He fell in love with my cooking, my lifestyle, my friends and family. We talked long into the night about six weeks after we met. He said he knew I was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, that he had no doubt God brought us together. I had to agree. At our stage in life we also realized that there was no way to know how much time we might have left to be together. Losing a spouse makes one so aware of this.
He asked my Mom if she would approve of him asking me to marry him and she said “Absolutely”. Later she told me if I didn’t marry him I was crazy. He offered everything I had on my list. Every time I looked into his amazing blue eyes I felt like I would melt. I truly did not believe this could happen to me again….but it did. Partly because we both wanted a good marriage again. Neither of us could imagine NOT being together! We were like teenagers and it felt incredible….one of his favorite words!
On September 1st, we celebrated our first year of marriage. Due to COVID 19 we were not able to visit our favorite restaurant. I prepared a delicious seafood dinner at the home of our friends, the home where we were married. It felt right to share such a special day with them and with Mom.
I read an article written by Anderson Cooper after the death of his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt. In it he wrote about a conversation he had with her, at the age of 95, in which he asked her if the opportunity arose she might marry again. During her lifetime she married several times and professed to love being in love and caring for someone. Her answer to his question was YES! I think she must be a kindred spirit. Her joie de vivre and willingness to open herself up to love inspired me.
I am writing about this because I know there are readers out there who need to know miracles do happen. If you have lost your partner and you miss having someone to share life with don’t be afraid to take that leap of faith and begin to look for love again. I am living proof that it can happen. I have received messages and signs from Mr. T that he approves and is so happy for me. Yes, there have been times when I felt strange going on with life when he lost his, but that is what we are meant to do. We all find our way and do what works for us. In my case, joining my life to this wonderful man’s was the answer. I begin each day saying “THANK YOU”!
On Tuesday, September 1st, I will be celebrating my first anniversary with my husband. I never imagined I would find such a love, best friend and life partner two years ago, better yet, I should say he found me! But I did. I found this beautiful cello duet to celebrate the life we share together. I thank God I made the right choices and Todd will be with me from now on. I am so grateful!
Life is a journey. We make our choices and I am so happy I chose well. Our life together is just beginning….against all odds. Please love the one you’re with and celebrate love today! It’s truly all there is!
I am learning so much from Carol as I follow my own path to better health and fitness. Today we are featuring Part Two of her journey! We’re all in this together and Carol makes it easier!
My big leap into the fitness world began.I signed up at my local gym not knowing anything about strength training and only the usual girlie things about cardio–treadmill, elliptical, jazzercise and step aerobics. I ran straight to the group fitness room and planted myself in the very back. Several of the classes I took were in the dark with only rope lighting. Less intimidating and a great way to hide. I didn’t know what a plank was. I couldn’t do one push up on my toes and I faked many moves only doing them half way. But I liked it. A place to go at 5:00. The music. That people started to recognize me. We all need a place to belong. Next big step. TIme to look at my food. I used to call it a diet. Me and diets were quite familiar. Like most bad relationships. I kept coming back for more even though it obviously wasn’t working for long. I dived deep into nutrition. Diet is to lose weight (really, we want to lose fat), but nutrition is a much bigger and far more important goal worthy of our focus. Baby steps. Time to look at my 30 year addiction to diet sodas. Obviously, with gaining 50 pounds the diet part of the soda equation wasn’t working. I drank four to six a day. Called it my mom juice. I depended on the fizz, the caffeine, the buzz. I’d tried to quit before. And before. And before that. This time I studied addiction recovery practices. I studied nutrition from all angles. What was I missing? Why was my will power so weak? I came up with my own two step approach. The first was to find a substitute. Coffee. My other vice. It has nutritional value and I was tested for caffeine tolerance, which was good. I gave myself permission to have coffee/go to Starbucks anytime I wanted a diet coke. Even six times a day. The first week, I hit the coffee shop everyday. Sometimes twice a day for that afternoon iced coffee. By the second week I needed less, but still gave myself full permission to enjoy this other vice. I only used steevia in my coffee so I wasn’t adding a ton of calories, but that didn’t matter. Calories wasn’t the focus. Only eating/drinking things with nutritional value was. My other strategy was to change my narrative around diet sodas. I came up with this:
Diet sodas have zero nutritional value. They are as harmful to me as Drano. Drano might taste good–I don’t know–but it wouldn’t be good for me. Diet soda is Drano. I don’t drink Drano.
I said this to myself outloud day after day those first few weeks or months. It became such a mantra, such a habit that I can’t even say the word, “diet” without launching into my mantra. It’s been nine years. I’ve had a couple of sips of diet sodas and they do nothing for me. Nothing. I tastes so strong and strange I want to spew it out.
Next came hydrogenated oils. After educating myself on the dangers of hydrogenated oils, why they were invented, what they do to our cells, our heart, how they’re in all processed foods (don’t get me started!) I knew I had to take a serious look at my pantry. We can talk about nutrition later.
I want to leapfrog over nutrition and talk about that later. What I want to share in this post is how I began to FEEL.
I stopped holding my body hostage–you can buy a new dress after you lose ten more pounds–if you don’t lose weight you’re going to stop going to the gym–you’re too old to focus so much on how you look–what my friends were saying about how much time I spent working out–that cholesterol meds are inevitable, just take them….
I stopped the negative self talk: I hate my thighs. Thank you for your strength to walk, to squat, to dance.
I hate my stomach. Thank you for babies. And yes, I’ll wear that two piece.
I hate my arms. Thank you that I can cook and paint, Lift and carry. Hug and hold.
I refused to be that awful ugly friend who talks bad about someone she professes loyal to. I refused to let cruel words come out of my mouth. At first the affirmations felt fake. Then they didn’t. They felt authentic. I was finally becoming the best friend I always dreamed of–kind, funny, loyal, honest but not harsh, tough but encouraging.
I found my confidence. I wanted to dance. To be playful. To say yes to get togethers. I wanted to take long walks just for the enjoyment of it. I wanted to try new things. Try on clothes in a store. And yes, I wanted to leave the lights on in the bedroom! I didn’t care what the scale number read–but how I felt in my own skin.
Mine isn’t a fast journey. It took me about six years to get my head on straight. To change my fridge, my pantry, my closet, where I ate, how I dressed, how I talked to myself…
Time for the next big step. I decided I wanted to be a wellness coach when I grew up. Again.
